The Train That Pretended We Didn’t Exist

Cashapp: $Cheesiepeesie

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Welcome, welcome, ladies, gentlemen and accidental commuters of fate. You have stepped aboard the legendary beast known only as the train. Not just any train. No no no. This is a metal serpent gliding through the city veins at lightning speed, carrying dreams, snacks, unread text messages, and at least one person questioning their entire life. I make my way on and suddenly silence not peaceful silence, no birds chirping, not meditation silence. No, this is we are all pretending we are not aware of each other silence. I stand there gripping a pole like I'm auditioning for a role called Struggles The Musical. Everyone is seated, heads down, thumbs moving like tiny robots possessed by social media spirits. No eye contact. Not a single soul dares to look up because eye contact on a train is apparently the most dangerous sport known to mankind. And then the train takes off whoosh fast. Like it just remembered it left the oven on at home. We're flying through tunnels, screaming through stations, jerking forward with hard stops like Oh you didn't think you were standing comfortably today, did you? And yet nobody reacts. A woman applies mascara flawlessly. A man watches a video like we are not currently reenacting Fast and Furious Subway edition. And me I'm just standing there thinking, is this an amusement park ride? Do I need a wristband? Where is the safety announcement that says Please keep your existential crisis inside the vehicle at all times? Then suddenly my stop approaches. The doors open like a dramatic stage curtain. I step out like I survived something I cannot explain in polite conversation. Behind me, the train keeps going, carrying its silent audience back into the unknown rhythm of the city. And I realize nobody said a word, nobody looked up, but somehow we all just survived the same wild ride, and that is public transportation.